Before we launch into the wide subject of P.I. (personal involvement) it needs to be noted that this is one of the most important subjects in consciousness development work, this is trap to which many fall into.
There is no doubt that P.I. exists also in people which are not involved in widening and deepening self-awareness, but when it is being joined to the process of increasing self-awareness – then it could slid into a trauma, because if a person is not aware of the degree of P.I. in his life, it is still damaging, but he can live with it because he is not forced to know, for real, the extent of which it is present in his life, but when he begins to be aware, and then meet it – the self-view or self-image get a blow from which he could not recover.
If a person cannot maintain his self-awareness to be completely neutral, Then it’s meeting the knowing about the extent of P.I. in his life – could be dangerous.
And now to the subject itself: P.I. is a psychological state in which the person becomes totally involved in a personal problem, it is an emotional hurt that got out of proportion. And then all crumbles down.
And this a vicious circle, for example, your good friend claims that you are not having any consideration to his feelings, you get hurt and it does not stop there. Here the P.I. starts to swell and for four days you do not go out of it, to this similar cases, in which you were also blamed, join from the past and all of a sudden you ‘realize’ the truth in all this accusations. This point of P.I. hides the objective reality like the lingered finger which it’s pain are over shadowing the depth and complexity of the person with the finger.
The tendency of the person to get into P.I. is indicative of an infantile state of his emotional life (or emotional instability), this state is usually tense and full of stress, and the more his emotional life is full of stress, tension and pain – the more his emotional system will get into an emergency state, which is the P.I. – each time there is an insult, or a small emotional problem- all the shatters will be shut, everything will contract to state of defense (like a babies’ bum when a needle is stuck into it). And the more the emotional system is healthy and stable – so will the person overcome an emotional threat. But an emotional system that has got in it undrained residues such as insult, hurt, a blow in one’s self image and self-view, rejection from partner in, or towards, a relationship, an abandonment by a loved one, alienation by a close friend, or by an intimate partner. Any one of them will present a threat on the on the autonomy of an infantile emotional life. Which in turn will get immediately into a hysterical emergency state. And this getting into an emergency state has got almost nothing to do directly with the enormity of the threat itself, but rather with the level of stress and instability of the emotions themselves.
And this getting into emotional emergency state with every nonsense is called: P.I.
Here a question might rise: is there no positive personal, or emotional, involvement?
Well, there isn’t a positive P.I. because in a healthy a grown up emotions it is open towards everything which is moving through her, as much as the lungs are open and receptive pass through them any air that the person breathes. Openness means openness to all, and closure means closed to all, and P.I. is a state of being sealed and closed emotionally because of an emotional injury which kind of ‘kook’ the person in the emotional poisons that rise in response to being hurt.
What could be mistaken for positive P.I. is a state of be focused in an affair or interaction, while the P.I. is a state of stormy emotions in which the person is locked in a singular negative emotion that creates waves of negative thoughts, which in turn intensify even further the emotional loop.
There is a direct connection between the power of the P.I. and its duration; the stronger it is – the longer it would last. It is like an illness; if you are very ill it will take longer to recover then when it easy illness.
When puts a person into a P.I. is not of necessity the power of the stimulation but the degree of our identification with being hurt.
In order to get deeply into P.I.one has to be
In a situation that he is just recovering from P.I. and thus in a state of story emotions, this means that the emotions are in a very combatable state, it is like fuel vapor it is enough to strike a match and it gets ignited.
And to understand it further, here is another analogy; P.I. is like sinking in a muddy swamp, it is a vortex that recycles itself; the person is being taken over by the feeling of being hurt or insulted or anything which presents a threat upon the emotions and there is no way he can get out of it, he is trapped in this prison of negative emotions and keep recycling again and again the feeling that caused him to be hurt, with it, it gets weaker during time, and is passing out of the system, but in the meanwhile, through the prism of the P.I. all seems lost.
When in P.I. the self-image is very low he thinks the worst of himself, but the moment you are out of it, it is as though nothing has happened, no residue. Just the person depleted in his spiritual and psychological resources, flat consciously, mentally worn out and with hardly any creative forces.
Paradoxically, on contrary to its erasing power in the emotions – it is almost totally unreal… it is not connected to who you really are, your achievements, your talent, your record etic, but you see everything black, It is a kind of a dark glass that surrounds you and all of a sudden you are in emotional prison (not real but very effective).
With it, it is important to grasp that not every bad feeling (even the worst) is the P.I. – the difference is in that the P.I. is acute, hermetic and total, while in just a bad feeling the world is the same world and your best is still there, in P.I. there is no world there is nothing except your emotional trauma.
What is very interesting is when you face a person who is in P.I. with the fact that he is in P.I. – he will fight you totally about the fact that he is definitely not in P.I. at best, they might admit that they might be in a mood. in the same way it is very difficult for a person to admit to himself that he is totally locked in a prison of being hurt or insulted.
If he will be forced, in one way or another, to admit to that fact, it will be a very difficult experience for him. (It is like looking in the mirror and seeing an ugly version of yourself).
P.I. makes a lot of ‘noise’ and gives out a frightening impression, but the whole idea is not to be impressed, she is not real… she is the cloud that hides the sun for a while, it is only the temporary closure of the emotions and in a short while the emotions will open up again, and the P.I. will be forgotten.
We are the ones that give the P.I. its power, and this is done by identification with the pain which causes the extreme state of the P.I.
If we don’t feed her – she will die out like a flam with no burning material.
This resembles an old Indian story called: The Story of Two Wolves:
An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life. “A fight is going on inside me,” he said to the boy. “It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil – he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.”
He continued, “The other is good – he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you – and inside every other person, too.”
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf will win?”
The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”
One of the characteristics of a person in P.I. are questions he could not stop asking himself and cannot stop dealing in them and which fixes him further in the P.I.
Questions which fixes one further in P.I.
Why does it happen to me?
Why am I like that?
Did I failed again?
What is wrong with me?
When would I ever learn?
What will become of me?
Why do I always screw up?
Why am I not like the rest?
This are not real inquiring questions that try to reach towards a solution, but rather they disguises themselves as a real wish to understand, while at the same time they are feeding further the P.I. they bring him back, again and again to the same painful spot and lock him further in the loop.
Therefore it is vital to replace this going-nowhere-question by other questions, instead of questions that originate from the chaos in the emotions, one should ask questions that come from the conscious part in us. This are questions which are searching for the ‘truth of the situation’.
Questions which removes one from P.I. to a consciousness state:
What is happening in me now, emotionally?
What do I fill exactly?
What is the strength of what I feel?
How does it feel?
Like what does it feel?
What are the forces behind the scene?
Why do I feel this way?
What brought me to feel this way?
Why do I care so much?
What is the core reason for this extreme emotional reaction of mine?
What is my hidden interest to behave this way?
What do I really want in this situation?
What is the recurring pattern in this situation?
Do I damage myself?
What am I doing to myself?
This are not question that come to get answers, but rather they come to enlarge the state of consciousness about the emotional state, this are questions which come to create a distance and perspective.
The moment a person succeeds to understand the truth of what is happening – he is no longer a victim of the emotional attack that he attacks himself.
You either understand or identify.
Gabriel