,Power struggles, their power is in being hidden
Most of the time it doesn’t turn out to be a power struggle at all.
Another example of the tactic of the one who controls the relationship is that he constantly corrects the other person. The other person [assumptions in the relationship} says something that he did not understand in good faith, but the stronger of the two presents as if the other person distorts and changes the speaker’s words on purpose.
The dominant is the one who insists on a certain point and is not ready for an independent interpretation on the part of subordinates. This serves his desire to control, and if the other dares to protest that he is constantly being blocked with the excuse that he did not understand correctly, did not formulate his words correctly in response to the speaker’s words and did not agree with the other’s intention – this will increase the insistence of the powerful one to show that the weaker simply does not understand. The weak sees and notices that he is constantly being interrupted and he can even notice that there are excuses that are repeated ‘that’s not what I meant’ ‘I say something and you keep understanding it differently’ and this frustrates him but it serves the powerful, because the more he insists that he doesn’t Understand him so his power will increase in the power struggles between them
How can one know that this is a power struggle? Well dominated and dominated relationships always appear in repeating patterns. The one who dominates will always be in the dominant role and the submissive will always be in the submissive role. And as time passes, the patterns become fixed and become rigid and permanent.
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Another example is objections; One of the known and hidden manifestations in the power struggle is resistance. Indeed, a power struggle can and does appear as resistance. For example, in a conversation between two people, the one who uses resistance tactics can insist that he does not understand what the other person meant when in fact he understands very well, but his resistance tactic serves him by inhibiting and blocking the speaker’s words.
There are power struggles between people, the strong one is the one who uses resistance tactics. The speaker can try to explain or clarify a certain passage and the strongman’s weapon is opposition to the speaker’s point of departure. It can appear as something very innocent, ‘I can’t accept your point of view’ it bothers me how you treat things’ but that’s not the truth and the truth is that resistance comes to serve the interest of the one with the power to slow down and block the other person so that he becomes weaker, and the more you oppose the other person the more He gets weaker and the strong one gains strength as he insists on resistance..
Another example. For example, delays or cancellation or postponement of a meeting. The weaker one will constantly try to arrive on time and if a time or date is set with him, he will try to meet it. The possessor will use the tactic of delaying or canceling or being late – with various excuses. But if he forces the weak to cancel programs because he must wait or postpone the date of the meeting so that the controlled match will become weaker. The possessor will cancel plans more often because he is allowed to. He will not come to the meetings he scheduled, he will be late for them and everything is seemingly innocent and everything is purely technical excuses, but as soon as it is done in regular patterns – the stronger of the two will serve better. And so excuses are the weapon of the powerful to resort to cunning tactics to gain power and postponing a meeting or arriving late and letting others wait is a well-known tactic.
Another tactic is who actually dictates the terms? The one who dictates the conditions is a person who has the power. What happens when the inferior in the relationship refuses to accept the terms of the superior? As soon as the pattern of power relations changes to the detriment of the strong and suddenly the weak decides to stand up for themselves – an explosion occurs, or even a disconnection. If there is one thing that the ruler does not tolerate it is a change in his status, his status must always be the ruler. He can behave in an acceptable manner as long as his status is not disturbed. When concessions express protest or reluctance to accept the other’s conditions, a world war breaks out. The strong can disguise themselves as considerate, as a collaborator as long as he remains strong in the mold of a ruler, but alas if the weak tries to change the proportion of the system of forces or protest or refuse to cooperate with the ruler’s power – at that moment a world war will break out and the ruler will do everything he can To hurt the one who was controlled yesterday..
The strong can give up many things and appear to be very cooperative, but as soon as his area of control is reduced due to the protest of the weak, this is something he cannot tolerate under any circumstances and he will oppose it vigorously to the point of severing the relationship.
You have to remember that relationships are always in patterns and everything can go straight if the pattern is maintained, those who control will continue to control and those who are controlled will continue to be controlled.
Woe to the controlled if he tries to appear as a refuser of the control or protests against the control and thus reduces the space of control of the powerful. As mentioned, this can lead to a complete disconnection of the relationship.
- High status — low status
We are used to people with external positions of high status such as: judges, professors, ministers, managers, doctors (Ph.D.M.D.), generals in the army and the like. You climb up the social ladder to the highest status. and people who did not reach status
This higher one – obey without asking questions.
Their high status is clear and everyone respects it.
But not all status differences are visible, formal, preceded by hard work and studies, and then – certified and recognized by authorities and enterprises.
For there is another, more simplified status difference between people, status differences that are informal and less visible. The difference exists between almost every person who is in communication or in a relationship. It is difficult to trace it and stick to it, because it is not manifested in the external formal world, but in the shadow world of the games people play, it appears in patterns of communication-transactions that repeat themselves over and over again. And this is no less effective than the formal status differences. Between any two people communicating playfully — there are usually informal differences in status; In one example (the upper class
more) gives advice, the other is grateful for it (and again this happens in the repeating game pattern).
One (the higher class) hardly discloses information about his own life, but wants information about the other. He has the privilege of remaining in the dark, while demanding full disclosure from the other of lower status.
It seems that one (the higher class in
Gabriel