As it was written, hurtfull women seek often a strong man, to protecte them from other aggressive, hurting males.
Here we need to do a sepration between strong and forcefull male. A forcefull male is not necceserly strong, and he needs weak women in order to feel strong by hurting her. A really strong man doesn’t need to hurt anyone, because he feels secure enough in himself. Being forcefull is a non ‘healthy path’, and as we saw – also the victims has got the ‘healty path’ and the ‘sick’ path, in the ‘sick’ path she is a self deception, by the naïve hope (that does not get actualize) that she will get protection and not aggressin).
It is difficult for women to diffrentiat between forcefull and strong men.
And a women which succeeds to get out of the distructive circle is a woman with high self esteem and self respect, who is not prepared to be hurt beyond a certain point.
And back to our beloved highlysensitive persons, it is a kinds of thread that goes all through the book, for you cannot be hurt almost without being sensitive, and you cannot be sensitive –without being hurt.
There a question concerning highly sensitive persons; is every highly sensitive preson also an outsider? And is every outsider is neccesraly highly sensitive? Well the answer will be split to two; there is only one kind of highly sensitive beings, but there are two kinds of outsiders: high outsiders and low outsiders. Low outsiders could be criminals, drug addicts, and homeless people, whereas high outsider is a person that is drawn to poetry, arts, philosophy, spirituality and the like.
The highly sensitive, will be most likely in the second group.
And as was wrttiten; they get hurt most of the time. It is very easy in this to be locked in a ‘loop’, meaning; you get hurt again and again, by the same people, and you cannot stop it. So he is in a catch.
What will contribute to this is if he has a low self view. A low self view can return the highly sensitive to be hurt again, because he sees his sesitivty ans a weakness, and it is the giulot feelings about his ‘weakness’ brings him to be punished (which will decrease his dissonance).
Both of them the hurting one and the one being hurt – are locked togther in a kind of a game pattern, a game because each one of them is acting in a particular role, and the pattern that was established fro quiet sometime – will bring them back to the same distructive game.
Quotes:
If your hurt is very hard, just wait. Time is the best medicine for your soul and heart, and its amount depends on how much youre hurt. Do you want to start all over again, even knowing that youll be hurt anyway? If yes, its real love, and you have to fight for it. If no, just let him go. Nothing feels blessed about being broken. In fact, certain circumstances in life hurt so intensely that we think we will never heal. But blessing can come in the wake of our being broken. My heart knew nothing about the pain, but then you appeared in my life… What I want to know is, why me? Why did you choose to hurt me? What is it about me that stuck out to you that made you think that I was weak? If he hurts you, forget him. But never forget the lesson he taught you. Love is an endless line of the happiness and pain. If you feel hurt now, youll be happy later.
You can avoid being hurt if you will not trust people… But you cannot be really happy without people, who you can trust.
Dont cry if you cannot be with him. Perhaps, its a real chance to avoid being hurt.
Do you think hell hurt you if leave? Dont you think he will hurt you even more if stay?
Gabriel