An obvious question;
How come everyone finds someone?
How did they get married?
Basically one experiences one relationship (maximum two) , and already they are in the rush to get married:
(Generally, No one was left out, except a minority group made of special and complex persons.)
First of all the great majority of couples get together between 18 and 25, or 28, and then it dwindles and when it reaches 37 it is difficult to find a partner.
Science has found out how old you’ll be when you meet your lifelong partner.
For some, this year has yet to arrive — but others may be long past it.
OK, we’ll stop delaying the answer. It’s 27. That’s right. The average age people meet their lifelong partner is 27 years old, according to a new survey from Match.com.
The survey, which mostly surveyed British couples, found that most women find The One at age 25, whereas men are slightly older at 28 years old, The Independent reported.
(From: The Herald-Times top performer of the week for April 25-2022)
In our world, the major rule is to get married before you’re too old—and “too old” varies from 25 – 35, depending on where you live. Society frowns much more upon a 37-year-old single person than it does an unhappily married 37-year-old with two children. It makes no sense—the former is one step away from a possible happy marriage, while the latter must either settle for permanent unhappiness or endure a messy divorce.
This is about the age that most couples get married.
Now for the selection; well if a single person lives in an isolated village, nevertheless, all of them will find with no difficulty a partner, and if they happen to live in another a partner.
This is weird, also from the quantity standpoint; because how many potential partners one would meet until he is 25? 500? 600? 700? 800? – And all find a partner despite this limited stock they happened to meet. And whiten this limited number of potential partners –they do find the one they would fall in love with for the rest of their lives.
(Usually those who succeed in doing it at such an early age, had already ‘rehearsed’ it by already being וn a couple at least for 2 years prior for them becoming a permanent couple.)
It is strange, compared to other tasks, like getting excellent in your profession, or studying for a doctoral degree- the task of finding a fit partner – does not have to be less difficult, and despite the difficulties almost all get married early and with limited stock of potential partners. And many inhibitions on both sides.
Finding a partner for life must be one of the most difficult tasks in the world; people come in in all degrees of attraction, from 1-10, with all kinds of personalities, dominance, morality, and all kinds of impediments, but all this does not present any hinders about falling in love with them and then get married in their early twenties.
And the few who cannot do it until the age of 30 – suffer.
Now, what is the meaning of this? Why is it like this? The reasons:
- Are we born already ‘computerized’ by nature to fall in love as early as possible when we are at our prime ability to produce healthier babies? And this by adjusting almost to whoever is around.
Is this nature’s trick in order to make sure that we copulate at our prime and in this way do what the plant wants from us: continue organic life?
This is the favorite explanation by the academic biologists.
- But there is the explanation of Emil Durkheim which is the sociologist approach, according to it, it is hidden social pressure, or in more exact words: social conditioning; meaning, during our young growing up – we are brainwashed: to build a family as soon as possible from any selection available, the reason being that the governing system finds it more manageable to control and order small compact cohesive groups like families, rather than scattered flock of individuals who have no obligation or responsibility to their beloved and cherished unite.. (The family).
Arranging all citizens in small committed cohesive units –then it is much more manageable and possible for the system and authorities.
Thus getting married as soon as possible with no regard to how ripe is the person for it, and how large is the stock of partners which is available – is a social interest. (And we obey those social interests – fully convinced that this is fully our choice).
It is being so influenced & dominated by the most powerful social codes and morals ever. For before, in older times – when the capitalistic system wasn’t all powerful and influential (as in our days)- and was less advanced technologically and more alienated – love was like a Goddess or an angel, it was most cherished and romanticized.
Modern culture also gave rise to psychology, which warns us (not in so many words) from the blind desire, lures, temptations and the idealist romantic experience of love. And also warns us from the possible suffering that love could bring with it. This is all based upon heavy self-examination, (self-examination and mad falling in love don’t go together),. And so, without the heavy burden of the ultimate romantic love – it is much easier to find a partner and to declare only too easily and early: “I am in love”.
- The other reason for early marriage despite a limited available stock to choose from- is that a young person has a greater motivation to find their place in life early in order to succeed in it, and this is because of the fierce social competition to succeed that starts very early in life. So he must unite forces with a partner, alone he cannot do it, he must join forces with someone that will see him or herself as an integral part of him because of love. Love is the best glue that joins together the forces of two people into a synergetic force.
- And the last and not least for the early marriage is one word: loneliness, the youngster starts his own life, basically around the period of leaving the warmth and shield of home, then he feels acutely the alienation of life and then they cry for the blanket of love in this cold world as soon as possible..
Video: on negative and absent dynamic