Part one: on male and female sexuality; the differences and similarities.
The greatest problem of sex is the communication problem, it is not a sexual problem. Most men and women are healthy sexually, but during sex they usually hardly communicate.
People are afraid to hurt the other person, they are afraid that if they will speak about what they really think, it will open a “Pandora’s Box”, or it will stop the magic, it will stop the wow. But they don’t see that without communicating, they have a limited sexual experience.
The higher aspect of almost any act is: communication, sensitivity, sharing.
In Tantra‘s writings about sex and in recent spiritual talks, there is a reference to the reaching of high spiritual state through sex (this is mostly not possible), but what is really absent is simply human communication, to open up to each other. To be there with your being, and not to disappear.
And what is meant by communication is: What do I see about what is happening to me and to you and share it with the partner.
Part two: men’s and women’s sexuality as symbols
To understand further men’s and women’s sex – we can get assisted by symbols:
A good symbol of the sexuality of women is a hollow, or a space, for this is the shape of her sexual organs and womb.
A close symbol of men’s sexuality is: an arrow on the low level, or a life giving fountain – in the upper level… if a woman sees the male sexuality as an arrow –she will develop fear and hesitations towards sex instead of positive approach.
The man can also see this hollow in one of two ways: he can either see the hollow as a swallowing hollow – at the lower level, or as a well with life giving fresh water – at the higher level.
Now, the more infantile will be men’s perception of the female sexuality – the more he will see the hollow as a swallowing hollow, and not as life giving well.
In the infantile approach men are afraid to get lost (in the hollow), they are afraid to lose control, and because of that they feel that the way not to lose control – is to be in control. And this control of men on women’s sexuality, might restrict the women from discovering their own sexuality.
Part three: The influence of society on our perception of sexuality
Sex is very important factor for both genders, and, mainly, it is society which actually makes the sexual act to be such an important act. People tend to give it much importance; there are people who almost live for sex; (they hardly could stop thinking about sex most of the day).
Society has got two contradicting approaches to sex: one is having conditions and taboos on sexuality.
The other approach is to glorify sex, as the highest stimulation. People tend to think: “Oh, I am going to have great sexual relations”. People are suffering and suffering, and they say to themselves: “Oh, I am going to reward myself by having great sex”.
Beyond the taboos, at base, society wants people to be aroused sexually most of the time, so they can manufacture more energy than they are able to use. This energy is actually the energy with which they go to work. There is a great abuse of the sexual energy, only a small amount is used for sexual intercourse. Most of it is being moved to other things. People do all kinds of things with sexual energy: People go to work with sexuality, do politics with sexuality. And because it is so powerful – it leaks everywhere. Gurdjieff had this theory of the five centers, according to his teaching – the other four centers: the instinctive, the emotional, the thinking and the moving centers – still from the sexual center it’s very powerful energy, and use it for their own sake..
Sexual energy is what makes the world go round. They say it is money that makes the world go round, but in fact it is sex. Almost everything is moved by the power of sex.
What happens is: a lot of sexual energy arises in a person, because there is a lot of provocation everywhere, in public; on the television, in movies, in commercials, in the way people dress… Sexual energy is in the air, everywhere, especially in hospitals, libraries, coffeehouses, the air is full of sex – but the ability, to actually actualize this sexual energy, is limited, and this is because of the restrictions. (Most of the restrictions are mainly put on women, they should be sexy but are restricted to actualize it in a free and open way). So there is a lot of sexual energy being released all the time, but because of the restrictions it needs to be diverted to other areas. In fact, if people are going to use all the sexual energy that they are manufacturing, they would have to have sex from morning till evening…
By the Chakra system, the sexual energy belongs to the lowest part of the Human complex (bellow the bottom of the spine), but human society puts it on top, while at the same time it puts so many restrictions upon it, and this mixed messages cause a lot of confusion.
And what does it mean, on top? Well, it means that people think about sex a great part of their life.
Sex is the greatest stimulation and the great frustration of most people.
The reader should read: Michel Foucault’s The History of Sexuality. Some of the ideas that are being discussed here are elaborated by Michel Foucault, a French philosopher, in his books:
The History of Sexuality
- Vol I: The Will to Knowledge
- Vol II: The Use of Pleasure
- Vol III: The Care of the Self
Especially the part that society actually uses the sexual energy for its own means; it is like a dike that is built to hold a lot of water, and you divert the water to an area where you can get electricity out of it. That is what they do with sexual energy. The constrictions are the dike, and this moves the sexual energy towards areas which suits the culture.
Society is everyone and no-one. It is a faceless entity. We are giving up our individuality for the collective identity. We are working for society, almost no-one lives for the sake of their own potential. Our own lives are mostly invested in this big entity.
It is an entity and it’s got eyes and it’s got ears and it has got a brain; Different people act like different parts of this entity (the working class are the hands, the philosophers and scientists are the brain, the artists are the emotions, the highly sensitive persons are the soul and so on). And people are thankful for this, because they don’t really know what to do with their own individual life, so they are happy to get lost in this big entity.
Already, Emile Durkheim said that our psychology is more governed by societies’ norms then by genetics or parents.
Social rule was also in Rome, but now it is more sophisticated. More devious, but at the same time, more total, now you don’t have society in this country separated from the other countries, but now people on the whole planet are one big society; everything is connected: Facebook, internet, television; the Big Brother.. Most individuality is obeying social norms. It is like The Matrix in a way.