a person stumbles across his psychological system in various elements which threaten to throw him into depression and destroy his self-view, such as: self-doubt, insult, guilt feelings,
Negative thoughts, being defeated – thoughts, despair etic.
Generally, after all those feelings ‘raise their head’ and begins terror attacks from within, and this happens when something from the outside injured us and cause an emotional wound, this wound sends vibrations that wake up those sleeping demons (self-doubt, etic.), and those demons start to attack the person from within. Those demons are like hot coal; and the emotional hurt from the outside is like a breeze, or fuel, that cause the flames to shoot up, and the emotional attack begins…
The first inclination of a person under this difficult attacks on his emotion, is to respond, but what kind of a response it would be? When asking a person what does he do with guilt feelings, or self-doubt? That eat him from within? Usually he says that he struggling with theme, doesn’t give up. And if it is a response to of going to a battle, and then it is war, a difficult war, for every negative emotion or thought the succeeded in entering and becoming based in the psychological system – will not give up easily. And each of them is fighting to survive. A nd question would: who is stronger?
But is it really a struggle? Well, first of all it is necessary to clarify that struggle is much misused word, it is a fig leaf that hides behind it there palpitation of a victim, being hit time after time. We palpitate from suffering, and to this palpitations (of suffering) we call: a struggle.
But if we agree that there is indeed a struggle and not just the palpitations of a victim, even then we are bound to lose.
And why is that? For the more we fight in us – the stronger it gets.
And why this is so? Well the mere fact of relating to negative thoughts and feelings – swallows us to the area of influence of the emotional whirlpool. The moment there is a relating to something negative that lives in us, immediately we are being shaved into his world, in which he is the governor, the controller, has the power.
In other words: any relating to a negative element the entered us, must lead to defeat.
So, how does it happened? Why the falling under the power of the opponent cause lose or a defeat? Well the ‘enemy’ wants us to be sucked to his domain of control, and this disconnects him (the one who is sucked in) from his power sources and causes him to operate under the rules and laws that on them he has no control, and in them the opponent is in control.
So, first rule: not to be sucked to the arena of the opponent, because there is the strong one.
So to recap: so far i dealt with the word struggle as a misused word, and then I dealt with palpitations of the victim, and then to that the actually relating to the demon is us going wild – sucks us to his territory, where he is strong.
And now I want to relate to the question of energy; for something to be strong he needs to have power, and in order to have power he needs energy.
A tree which is connected by roots to the ground, and by its leafs to the air and a sun – gets its energy from both directions, a river gets energy from the fountain. Where from the negative emotions of the demons (who come to life in every emotional wound – will receive energy?
There are in a foreign territory, are not an organic part of the system, what feeds them? What allows them to continue and live? Again, it is us who give them energy by them sucking from us attention and relating.
The way to weaken the enemy, and in this way to overcome him – is by not deeding him, not to relate. It is fighting the enemy, by ignoring.
This tactic of ignoring is recommended in situations in which:
The person is turning against himself (gets into a crisis) or he has negative thoughts about his life.
Someone from the outside turns against him, attacks him, criticize him, etic.
The problem is that when we are being attacked, whether, from whiten or from without. We know only two ways; to fight or surrender, both are bad, only the middle way of ignoring – would work.
And how does it work? Well, when a person throws a ball at a wall, most chances that the ball will fly back to him and hit him with the combined force of the wall’s hardness a the power of the throw of the ball.
The wall is the ignoring. When there is no response, your message comes back to you.
The harder will the attack be – the more painful will be the ignoring to the attacker.
And like lack of relating to something blocks its entrance to our system, so would relating to something (emotional hurt in this case) will allow it get in.
The more something is high, of quality or developed, the more he needs this ability to ignore in order to survive in a hostile or negative.
For example, a woman in a high level – needs to be very strong to avoid a man on a lower level who is trying to pester her, or making a pass at her.
But accept the fact that you have to be very strong in order to avoid, it is much easier – to do then not to do. This much to do with us being (still) a masculine culture that it is used to initiate and do, our greatest difficulty is to refrain from doing, doing is instinctive for us, almost like breathing, this is why it is so difficult to lose weight for one needs to refrain from certain foods.
In order to do, all a person needs is to respond, (or to increase effort), in order not to do there is a need for self-control. Therefore ignoring is a higher mechanism then relating. The first is conscious, the other is mechanical. The lesser you are aware of yourself, less trained in harnessing and moderating the emotions – so it will more difficult to ignore, or avoid.
A response is instinctive, and happens usually despite us, whereas refraining from response is a result of self-work, and the development of awareness and self-control.
Things hurt us in direct proportion to their ability to get out of us a response.
And things always try to wake in us a response, trying to attract our attention, and unless a person is working on himself, things with the most powerful stimuli – are the ones that will win our attention.
And what are those things? This are usually the negative stimuli; things that come to hurt us, to downgrade us, to attack us – those would get the most relating from us.
So, if the person does not cultivate in himself the ability to ignore negative stimuli, they will always win him in the end, will filter in, and will filter in and from sleep the demons of self-doubt, guilt feelings etic.
ignoring is a non-natural response, but a one we should cultivated.
The first response of the ego to an emotional hurt is to respond by going wild and an emotional storm. And then the emotional storm tries to attract attention from the person himself, and this in order to get attention, and by that to get fuel in order to continue to burn.
But what happens to the negative ego forces, that are waking up and instead of getting a reaction they get ignoring?
Well, their first response would be: to increase the flames, increase the volume of noise, trying to attract attention.
Similar to a response of a baby that his demands for attentions are being ignored. A well trained person needs to persist with the ignoring – until the breaking point of the demons of the ego.
The longer is the ignoring, thus the ego will weaken by the return to him of his own forces (like a boomerang) through hitting the hard wall of ignoring are now attacking him.
When the ego gets himself back, he gets a knockout from the power of his own, he is distraining himself by the tough ignoring wall.
A person should cultivate in himself deafness and blindness about the negative voices the come to him from within.
And again, it all starts and ends in self-control; in order to avoid you must be able to have control over your responses. If you respond to a negative emotion (in you or from the other) mechanically and automatic way, then in the end you will be a victim of aggression and accusation that are directed towards you from the other, or of guilt feelings or feelings of helplessness that comes to you from within. With most people the response comes out without awareness, monitoring or control.
We respond even before we know that we are responding. (For example. When a hungry man opens the fridge – the hand is in there (sometimes) even before the owner of the hand has decided what he wants…).
The person should practice self-control, to practice ignoring. For example, he should watch a tasty food, close the fridge and move away and only when the automatic reaction has ceased, he can go back to the fridge…
Only when a person begins working on himself and develop unconditioned awareness in negative stimuli, from within and from without – only then does he has the chance to direct ignoring (which is the only weapon) towards what is threatening his inner wholesomeness.
There are three forces for real coping:
Force one says yes,
Force two says no.
Force three does not say, he does not relate.
The first force is masculine; pushing, thrusting and hot. It is a yang force.
The second is preventing, to restrain, to turn the back. It is a Ying force.
The higher force is the neutral force, which ignores, and is not relating to what falls into his level.
The neutral force is not involved and therefore is not effected.
What is the best way to ignore? The best way is to concentrate in something else, it could be aided by a mantra or guided imagery.