Fear of Abandonment: Symptoms, Causes, Effects, and Treatments

Abandonment, a definition: the act of leaving someone or something or of ending or stopping something, usually forever.

Dumping, a definition: deposit or dispose of (garbage, waste, or unwanted material), typically in a careless or hurried way.

Most of us does not know how to finish, don’t know how to bring to the end of relationship. And even if we know – it is much easier to abandon, to disappear, to do an ostrich; if you don’t see – it does not exist. (Rather then saying it in a clear, open and compassionate way, as possible).
Dumping is an escape from a field which was once blooming and now it seems to the deserter as a low rating field. And it does not make any difference the wonderful characteristics of the one being abandoned, (that just yesterday were a blessing for the deserter), now there is only
In spoken language this act is called: dumping, the dictionary meaning of it is to through away, to empty out, to get rid of. Suddenly the gold and precious stones of yesterday are trash, from which one must get rid of.
And there is hardly no one that it does not happen to him, in this relationship or another; romantic, or between friends. Only yesterday the warm smile embraced everything, and all of a sudden; dumping.
And the one who is being dumped? There are no words to describe his shame, insult, frustration. An abyss is opened below him, what was just a moment ago a supporting ground, solid and real – turned to an open abyss.
It is like giving out a hand for a handshake, and instead of the hand they meet the space of ‘no hand’.
How different it is from the beginning. Then the togetherness seem so solid, so clear, so certain. Like a tree with its roots that go deep into the ground, a tree that no storm will disconnect it from the ground of reality.
And therefore so great is the insult, so enormous the amazement – that in a matter of minutes the tree is flat on the ground, and no roots.
And in general all beginnings begins wonderful; together, always together, full with real hopes for common growth. The first meeting is forever an exhilarating happening, it is a meeting with the twin soul that we always knew is waiting for us somewhere in this difficult life.
And then, all of a sudden it is all over, at once; before there was the support and now we started to fall, the supporting back, the warming smile, the comforting words, – disappear – are gone, like never has been, from now on we are strangers again.


“You dump trash. You dump yard waste and old ripped couches that smell like body odor and forgetfulness. You dump cigarette butts and banana peels and hazardous waste. But people?”
― Autumn Doughton, I’ll Be Here

“Everybody’s in love when they’re eighteen. And everybody gets dumped.”
― Susan Wiggs, Summer by the Sea

People were dumped all the time and their tears did not swallow dry land.”
― Valentine Glass, Between Kay and You: A Bisexual Girl’s Cumming-of-Age Confession

I’ve been dumped hard. My heart has been broken and shattered, and I’ve also been on the other end of that too.
Allison Williams

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